Mindfulness Made Easy

We are all better communicators when we focus less on ourselves and more on other people, always asking ourselves,

“Why is this person reading my email?”

“Why are they attending my meeting?”

“Why are they listening to my presentation?”

If we think about what the other person is trying to get out of the exchange, we’ll be more efficient with our language and tone and therefore have more impact. But how to do we remain mindful of focusing outside ourselves?

Mindfulness is often portrayed as something complicated and theoretical, akin to learning yoga. In fact, it can be easy to adopt mindful behaviors. Just as you can derive the benefits of simple stretches without aiming to become an experienced yogi, you can adopt some basic habits that will lead you toward a more mindful existence. Here are four easy actions you can take starting today that will help you be more mindful when communicating.

1. When speaking, pause between sentences. Most people I have coached over the last 26 years as a consultant either fill in the breaks between sentences with filler sounds like “um” or “ah,” or speak too quickly, or both. Instead, at the end of every sentence, give yourself – and your listeners – a break by pausing ever so slightly. To train yourself to do this, start by saying quietly, in your head, “period” at the end of every sentence. Obviously, any word will do, but “period” is an easy one to remember and won’t interrupt your train of thought. (If your word is “chocolate,” you’ll distract yourself and start getting hangry.)
   
   What does this have to do with mindfulness? When we pause between sentences, we become more conscious of the words we are using. That intentionality around the way we are communicating not only helps us minimize the number of filler sounds but helps us avoid qualifying phrases like “kind of,” and “sort of.” We give ourselves the very brief moment that we need to be more mindful of the words we are sharing, and we give the audience the moment they need to process the information they are hearing.

2. When writing, activate the “Readability” feature in Word. Every time you spell check a document, you will receive a list of stats that help you know how to edit your document to make your ideas more accessible for your readers. In particular, note the “grade level” of your writing. Aim for a grade level in the single digits. It’s possible to write a professional document with a very low grade-level score. This article is written at the 8.4 grade reading level, which means the average eighth grader could read the article once and get the main point.
   
   Also, pay attention to the “Average Sentence Length” stat. If your average sentence length is greater than 17, scan through your document for your longer sentences and see if you can break them into smaller elements. Depending on your content, you may need to have the occasional very long sentence. That’s fine. It may be driven by the nature of your profession or the specific technical content you need to share. If you decide you can’t shorten a very long sentence, see if you can make the next sentence brief. If your target audience reads two lengthy sentences in a row, they start to struggle.
   
   Paying attention to these two elements – Readability grade level and average sentence length – will make you more mindful of your writing. That will lead to you paying attention to other more subtle aspects of your work, such as word choice and tone.

3. When telling a story, keep it brief. Incorporating stories into a business presentation can help bring your data alive, humanize you to your audience, and make your overall presentation more memorable. But if the story goes on for too long, you lose people. Every story begins in the middle of some larger context. Always ask yourself two questions.
   1. What’s the point I am trying to make by telling this story?
   2. How close to the real action can I start and still make that point?

   If your story has too long a wind-up, you’ve lost your audience before you get to the meat. Asking yourself these two questions will make you more mindful of what additional facts you need to include along the way.

   I was recently at a dinner with five other attendees at a conference. We got on the topic of who was home with the kids. One woman told a story about leaving her teenagers home alone once and the havoc that ensued. One of the other diners then shared a story on that theme, but the first minute and a half had to do with the reason he and his wife needed to be out of town, which was totally unrelated to the point of the story. The only relevant fact was that they were away. Asking yourself, “What’s my point?” and, “How much background is needed to support that story?” will make you more mindful of your goal and a better storyteller.

4. Read more fiction, and with greater awareness. This isn’t a “quick fix,” like points 1-3, but it’s important for your long-term development as a more mindful professional. Novels bring us into the world of other human beings. They allow for both global travel and time travel, and they increase our empathy and our humanity. But we get more out of a story we read if we read it with intentionality, meaning paying attention to how we are reacting to the story as we read it.
   
   In his introduction to A Swim in the Pond in the Raid, George Saunders, a well-known creative writing professor at the University of Syracuse, talks about why it is important to note the emotional reactions we experience when we read fiction.  “The part of the mind that reads a story is also the part that reads the world.” In other words, if we are conscious of how a novel impacts us, we’ll be more conscious (i.e., mindful) of how everyday interactions, as well as significant events, both positive and traumatic, impact our mindset. That heightened consciousness of our interactions is the essence of being more mindful.

Originally published on Forbes.com.